Tervetuloa - Welcome

Nimettömät Läheisriippuvaiset on miesten ja naisten toveriseura. Yhteinen päämäärämme on oppia muodostamaan toimivia ihmissuhteita. Ainoa jäseneksi pääsyn vaatimus on halu terveisiin ja tyydyttäviin ihmissuhteisiin. Me kokoonnumme tukemaan toisiamme ja jakamaan kokemuksemme yhteisellä matkalla. Tuon matkan päämääränä on oppia rakastamaan itseään. Ohjelmassa eläminen edesauttaa meitä kaikkia tulemaan entistä rehellisemmiksi itseämme kohtaan. Rehellisyys koskee ennen kaikkea omaa menneisyyttämme ja läheisriippuvaisia käyttäytymismalleja.

Toimintamme perustuu 12 askeleeseen ja 12 perinteeseen, omaksuttu Nimettömiltä alkoholisteilta (AA), joista saamme tietoa ja viisautta. Ne ovat ohjelmamme periaatteet ja oppaat, joita noudattamalla voimme muodostaa terveitä ja tyydyttäviä ihmissuhteita sekä itseemme että muihin ihmisiin. Nimettömissä Läheisriippuvaisissa pyrimme yhteyteen oman tulkintamme mukaisen Korkeamman Voiman kanssa. Annamme muille tämän saman etuoikeuden.

Tämä uudistumisprosessi on lahja, joka eheyttää meitä. Jos työstämme ohjelmaa aktiivisesti, huomaamme elämässämme uudenlaista iloa, hyväksyntää ja tyyneyttä.

Ryhmämme on kaksikielinen, suomi & englanti. Voit jakaa kokemuksiasi sillä kielellä, mikä tuntuu itsestäsi hyvältä.

In English:

Welcome to Co-Dependents Anonymous Helsinki, a fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships. The only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships. We rely upon the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions for knowledge and wisdom. These are the principles of our program and guides to developing honest and fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others. In CoDA, we each learn to build a bridge to a Higher Power of our own understanding, and we allow others the same privilege.

This renewal process is a gift of healing for us. By actively working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous, we can each realize a new joy, acceptance and serenity in our lives.

We speak Finnish and English and all our welcome to share in the language they are most comfortable communicating with.

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Thursday, 7 April 2011

Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence

These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.
They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.

Denial Patterns:
I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.
I lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others.
I label others with my negative traits.
I can take care of myself without any help from others.
I mask my pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation.
I express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways.
I do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom I am attracted.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:

I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge what I think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough.
I am embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts.
I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings, and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
I constantly seek recognition that I think I deserve.
I have difficulty admitting that I made a mistake.
I need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and will even lie to look good.
I am unable to ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I perceive myself as superior to others.
I look to others to provide my sense of safety.
I have difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing projects.
I have trouble setting healthy priorities.

Compliance Patterns:
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.
I put aside my own interests in order to do what others want.
I am hypervigilant regarding the feelings of others and take on those feelings.
I am afraid to express my beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ from those of others.
I accept sexual attention when I want love.
I make decisions without regard to the consequences.
I give up my truth to gain the approval of others or to avoid change.
Control Patterns:
I believe most people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel.
I freely offer advice and direction to others without being asked.
I become resentful when others decline my help or reject my advice.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I want to influence.
I use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be needed in order to have a relationship with others.
I demand that my needs be met by others.
I use charm and charisma to convince others of my capacity to be caring and compassionate.
I use blame and shame to emotionally exploit others.
I refuse to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate.
I adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to manipulate outcomes.
I use terms of recovery in an attempt to control the behavior of others.
I pretend to agree with others to get what I want.
Avoidance Patterns:
I act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward me.
I judge harshly what others think, say, or do.
I avoid emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy as a means of maintaining distance.
I allow my addictions to people, places, and things to distract me from achieving intimacy in relationships.
I use indirect and evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation.
I diminish my capacity to have healthy relationships by declining to use all the tools of recovery.
I suppress my feelings or needs to avoid feeling vulnerable.
I pull people toward me, but when they get close, I push them away.
I refuse to give up my self-will to avoid surrendering to a power that is greater than myself.
I believe displays of emotion are a sign of weakness.
I withhold expressions of appreciation.
The Patterns and Characteristics of Codependency may not be reprinted or republished without the express written consent of Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. This document may be reprinted from the website www.coda.org (CoDA) for use by members of the CoDA Fellowship.  

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