Kaksitoista lupausta - Nimettömät Läheisriippuvaiset

Jos toteutan elämässänä CoDan ohjelmaa, voin olettaa, että elämäni tulee muuttumaan. Jos pyrin työstämään Kahtatoista Askelta ja noudattamaan Kahtatoista Perinnettä rehellisesti, niin

1. Saan kokea uutta yhteenkuuluvuuden tunnetta. Tyhjyyden ja yksinäisyyden tunteet katoavat.
2. Pelot eivät hallitse minua enää. Toimin rohkeasti, eheästi ja itseäni arvostaen.
3. Tunnen uutta vapautta.
4. Vapautan itseni menneisyyteeni ja nykyisyyteeni liittyvästä huolesta, syyllisyydestä ja katumuksesta.
5. Pystyn rakastamaan ja hyväksymään itseni ja muut. Tunnen itseni aidosti rakastettavaksi, rakastavaksi ja rakastetuksi.
6. Alan nähdä itseni samanarvoisena kuin muut ihmiset. Uusissa ja uudistuneissa ihmissuhteissani osapuolet ovat samanarvoisia.
7. Pystyn muodostamaan ja ylläpitämään terveitä ja rakastavia ihmissuhteita. Hallinnan ja manipuloinnin tarpeet häviävät, kun opin luottamaan ihmisiin, jotka ovat luottamukseni arvoisia.
8. Opin, että eheytyminen on mahdollista. On mahdollista tulla rakastavammaksi, läheisemmäksi ja kannustavammaksi. Voin olla perheeni kanssa tekemisissä tavalla, joka on minulle turvallinen ja kunnioittava heitä kohtaan.
9. Tiedostan, että olen ainutlaatuinen ja kallisarvoinen luomus.
10. Minun ei tarvitse antaa muiden määritellä arvoani.
11. Luotan ohjaukseen, jota saan Korkeammalta Voimaltani ja alan uskoa omiin kykyihini.
12. Alan kokea vähitellen päivittäistä tyyneyttä, voimaa ja henkistä kasvua.

Käännetty teoksesta Co-Dependents Anonymous, 1995, toinen painos

Kaksitoista askelta

Ensimmäinen askel
Myönsimme voimattomuutemme toisten ihmisten suhteen ja sen, että elämämme oli muuttunut sellaiseksi, ettemme enää hallinneet sitä.

Toinen askel
Opimme uskomaan, että jokin itseämme suurempi voima voisi palauttaa terveytemme.

Kolmas askel
Päätimme luovuttaa tahtomme ja elämämme Korkeamman voimamme haltuun sellaisena kuin hänet käsitimme.

Neljäs askel
Teimme perinpohjaisen ja pelottoman moraalisen itsetutkiskelun.

Viides askel
Myönsimme väärien tekojemme todellisen luonteen Jumalalle, itsellemme ja jollekin toiselle ihmiselle.

Kuudes askel
Olimme täysin valmiit antamaan Jumalan poistaa kaikki luonteemme heikkoudet.

Seitsemäs askel
Nöyrästi pyysimme Häntä poistamaan vajavuutemme.

Kahdeksas askel
Teimme luettelon kaikista vahingoittamistamme henkilöistä ja halusimme hyvittää heitä kaikkia.

Yhdeksäs askel
Hyvitimme tekomme lähimmäisillemme suoraan, mikäli mahdollista. Vältimme kuitenkin vahingoittamasta heitä tai muita.

Kymmenes askel
Jatkoimme itsetutkiskelua ja aina kun olimme väärässä, myönsimme sen heti.

Yhdestoista askel

Pyrimme rukouksen ja mietiskelyn avulla kehittämään tietoista yhteyttämme Jumalaan, sellaisena kuin Hänet käsitimme, rukoillen ainoastaan tietoa hänen tahdostaan meidän suhteemme ja voimaa sen toteuttamiseen.

Kahdestoista askel
Koettuamme hengellisen heräämisen näiden askelten tuloksena pyrimme saattamaan tämän sanoman toisille läheisriippuvaisille ja harjoittamaan näitä periaatteita kaikissa toimissamme.

CODA Literature and Tools for Recovery

We have a full inventory of CODA Literature in English and beginner packets in Finnish so if you are looking for a book, a workbook or my favorite the "In this Moment Daily Meditation Book"... We have it here to support you in your recovery process.  We also use affirmations to support our recovery, particularly when we are "triggered" or someone "presses our buttons"   Here are a few which may be helpful and supportive to you:

http://www.coda.org/tools4recovery/shockwave/affirmations.swf

Additional Tools for Recovery can be found here:

http://www.coda.org/tools4recovery/index.php

At CoDA, we offer no definition or diagnostic criterion for codependence. What we do offer is a list of patterns and characteristics as a tool to aid in self evaluation.

CoDA ROVANIEMI

CoDA has sprouted in Rovaniemi, Finland, as the sun melts the winter snow.
Meets Tuesday's at 7PM, Keltakangas 2, Rovaniemi, Finland. Meets in the AAn Kerhotila.
Contact: codarovaniemi@gmail.com


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The Twelve Promises of Co-Dependents Anonymous

I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the Twelve Steps and follow the Twelve Traditions...

1. I know a new sense of belonging. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.
2. I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity and dignity.
3. I know a new freedom.
4. I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.
5. I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving and loved.
6. I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.
7. I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.
8. I learn that it is possible to mend - to become more loving, intimate and supportive. I have the choice of communicating with my family in a way which is safe for me and respectful of them.
9. I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation.
10. I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.
11. I trust the guidance I receive from my higher power and come to believe in my own capabilities.
12. I gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life.

The Twelve Promises may not be reprinted or republished without the express written consent of Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. This document may be reprinted from the website www.coda.org (CoDA) for use by members of the CoDA Fellowship.  

Copyright © 2010 Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. and its licensors -All Rights Reserved.

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Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence

These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.
They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.

Denial Patterns:
I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.
I lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others.
I label others with my negative traits.
I can take care of myself without any help from others.
I mask my pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation.
I express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways.
I do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom I am attracted.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:

I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge what I think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough.
I am embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts.
I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings, and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
I constantly seek recognition that I think I deserve.
I have difficulty admitting that I made a mistake.
I need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and will even lie to look good.
I am unable to ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I perceive myself as superior to others.
I look to others to provide my sense of safety.
I have difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing projects.
I have trouble setting healthy priorities.

Compliance Patterns:
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.
I put aside my own interests in order to do what others want.
I am hypervigilant regarding the feelings of others and take on those feelings.
I am afraid to express my beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ from those of others.
I accept sexual attention when I want love.
I make decisions without regard to the consequences.
I give up my truth to gain the approval of others or to avoid change.

Control Patterns:
I believe most people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel.
I freely offer advice and direction to others without being asked.
I become resentful when others decline my help or reject my advice.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I want to influence.
I use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be needed in order to have a relationship with others.
I demand that my needs be met by others.
I use charm and charisma to convince others of my capacity to be caring and compassionate.
I use blame and shame to emotionally exploit others.
I refuse to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate.
I adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to manipulate outcomes.
I use terms of recovery in an attempt to control the behavior of others.
I pretend to agree with others to get what I want.

Avoidance Patterns:
I act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward me.
I judge harshly what others think, say, or do.
I avoid emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy as a means of maintaining distance.
I allow my addictions to people, places, and things to distract me from achieving intimacy in relationships.
I use indirect and evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation.
I diminish my capacity to have healthy relationships by declining to use all the tools of recovery.
I suppress my feelings or needs to avoid feeling vulnerable.
I pull people toward me, but when they get close, I push them away.
I refuse to give up my self-will to avoid surrendering to a power that is greater than myself.
I believe displays of emotion are a sign of weakness.
I withhold expressions of appreciation.

The Patterns and Characteristics of Codependency may not be reprinted or republished without the express written consent of Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. This document may be reprinted from the website www.coda.org (CoDA) for use by members of the CoDA Fellowship.  

Copyright © 2010 Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. and its licensors -All Rights Reserved